Sex Lies and magazine surveys...from Change Magazine

Sex lies and mass media

Mirra

September and sex… and it must be that because the first two letters are the same, that this September we were bombarded with 2 magazines telling us what Indian women are doing with their sex lives.

The picture that is being drawn – Indian women – entering the globalised, liberalized sphere of sexuality – “Free of the burden of her barren sexual history she is looking fearlessly into a future teeming with sensual possibility” (India Today). It goes further – India’s smaller town women are sexually proficient: “In Patna, a majority of single women claim to have had an orgasm”; Ahmedabad wins the top in terms of frequency  of sex, with 33% claiming they had sex more than once a week, while the nationwide average was only 14%.  In Hyderabad 49% approved of live-in relationships.

Is this a true picture? Obviously not. Anyone with a little bit of common sense knows that it isn’t.  But as mass media knows too well, sex sells (again the same two letters se…) and by even just printing questions that no one else has written about makes the articles titillating to read. I mean, there are people out there doing it in trains, in front of mirrors, video filming themselves….

The tough point comes when these magazine surveys make it out to seem that this is what is happening generally in Indian society. “Nationwide survey” you are told. Percentages scream at you in bold larger than life figures on the page. But what do these percentages actually mean? Who are these surveys actually talking about? Most people don’t have much idea what it means to do research, so perhaps they think that these percentages do reflect a reality.

Who do these percentages reflect?  And how was the survey conducted? One of the main questions in research is the sample – how was it drawn and how representative is it.

Looking at how the study was done by India Today -

Imagine yourself, a young unmarried woman, walking down a street. On the corner someone approaches you. Most women would likely tell the person to get lost. If you did listen to what this person had to say, you would be invited you to come to a central location to fill out a questionnaire. Would you agree? Some 2,035 women in 11 cities in India actually did go… and answered a questionnaire …. Since they don’t give the details, we can presume that that’s about 180 women per city. And I guess many women must have refused to go to central location after being approached in a street corner. How many refused, we don’t know.  But there must be something special and different about those young women who did go to “the central location” and then actually sat down and answered these questions.  Questions like

What do you prefer – Long foreplay or quick sex?

What is your preference in foreplay?

What do you do after sex?

Do you share sexual fantasies with your boyfriend?

Have you masturbated in front of your partner?

And a host of other questions and then smiled and walked out of the central location with a little gift in their hands.

These women were in the age group 18-30 we are told.  62% were graduates, 54% students, and 33% working. All upper income.

Of these women, 24% say they have had sexual intercourse. A royal sum of 488 women, and across 11 cities, means that when the magazine reports on how women in Ahmedabad are so forward looking, or more Patna women having orgasms, we are probably talking about the 20-40 women. Only the most irresponsible research person or agency would say that this is a sufficient sample to be making any generalization – but journalists can conclude “Women have started experimenting with their bodies.”

A smaller survey of men was also conducted: 517 men from the same cities were surveyed on the street corner itself. Imagine answering the question,“Have you ever peeped through keyholes or stealthily watched other people having sex?”, on the street corner as people sauntered by (20% answered yes).

While the cover of  India Today promises to give you the scoop on “Sex and the Single Woman,” Outlook’s cover screams “WOMEN BUY MEN FOR SEX” and offers a “Nationwide survey on FORBIDDEN SEX.”

If you read the fine print, you find that these articles claim to have revealed the sexual attitudes and behaviour of urban middle class men and women in metropolitan cities in certain age categories (and in India Today, only singles), but the text gives the impression that it talking about all urban women and in some cases, all Indian women. Because of the convenience sampling method and the likelihood that women willing to go to a central location to fill out a questionnaire would be unrepresentative (and with over half of the India Today respondents being students, perhaps wanting to have some fun with their answers), the findings cannot be reliably generalized to urban metropolitan women or to Indian women in general.

Another reason these findings seem unreliable is that they are so different from a recent survey carried out by BBC World Services Trust, New Delhi. As part of a Knowledge attitude and practices study on HIV AIDS, a survey was carried out in 17 states, covering 169 towns and 570 villages in June –July 2005, with respondents chosen randomly by interviewing individuals in every fifth household.

Although the population studied is different (smaller urban areas and rural areas), the picture of the behavior and attitudes of young adults in India shows that it is far from the picture drawn by these media studies.

The few comparable questions yield extremely different answers. While 24% of India Today’s unmarried female respondents claimed to have had sex, this was the case for only 8% of the men and 0.59% of the women, age 15-29, in the BBC study.

 According to India Today, among urban women, 18-30, 65% believe men and 66% believe that women should be virgins before marriage. In contrast, In the BBC study 96% women in this age group believe that both men and women should be virgins at the time of marriage. There was no difference between rural and urban areas, nor between men and women.

Some may dismiss the India Today and Outlook articles as harmless fluff, but there are consequences of such kinds of mass media portrayals. It is only when one reads the fine print that you realize that this is not the portrayal of Indian women. Sex and the Single Indian woman and the Nationwide survey on FORBIDDEN SEX seems to be drawing a picture of Indian women. But this is simply not the case.

Who is it that these surveys are reporting about? Those urban men and women who would want to participate in a sexual study of this kind. It does not even represent the young educated urban woman. The fact that individuals were stopped at street corners, or given questionnaires which they mailed in 2 days later, itself creates a bias.

So what difference does it make, you may wonder. People do read these articles and they do form a picture about what “young single women” in their cities are about. If they are having sex, paying for sex, having forbidden sex, then these women are (or should be) available for me (men) too.

Young women, in colleges or working, have been reporting that there is increased peer pressure from men to get into sex. And if women say no, they are branded as prudish, traditional, not with it, not cool……. Surveys like this contribute to creating an image of the young woman in urban areas.

Agreed, there are changes occurring in the lives of women and men as the economy changes. Many youth (not all) are getting independent sources of income, and living out of their homes. It is important that we support these women who are entering new ways of living. However, does creating a false picture of what is occurring in their lives help? Not all of these are engaged in the drugs, disco, drinking orgy lives that page 3 journalism is celebrating. And by creating such a picture the media is certainly doing a damage. These articles could contribute in promoting sexual aggression among men. They do reduce women the position of sexual consumer, a globalized gloss on woman as sexual object.

And it is heartening that the general public is not taking all this quietly. A Public Interest Litigation was filed against India Today and Outlook, and the magazines were asked by high court to give their replies on the charges filed by December 7^th. But there have been no replies given. The legal department of India today says they have asked for some more time…. When do they intend to reply … no idea. Parents in one of the towns were outraged against how the magazine portrayed women in their town – and said that this created a negative picture of their daughters.

But why oh why are the well informed editors of these magazines doing such biased studies and allowing them to be published so prominently in their magazines. Sure sex sells, but surely well done studies, with proper sampling procedures, more representative of the Indian population, whichever sector that they want to cover, would also provide mirch masala to their publications.

There must be some reason why these editors are doing what they are doing. Otherwise how does one explain that both come out with similar scintillating articles in the same month? What role does the sexually liberated woman play in their eyes? Is it that globalization and liberalization is creating what the “pseudo secularists” desire? A clone of the West? 

Sexuality...published in Seminar magazine..1992

                                                      Sexuality

                       ABOUT four years ago, an official for the Indian Council of Medical Research, New Delhi, spoke at the International AIDS conference in Montreal.   He maintained that ‘AIDS cannot, will not be a problem in Indian because we are a traditional society,’ because we unlike the decadent West, where the pill brought about a sexual revolution, with promiscuity and homosexuality.

                        Hardly five years later, and world authorities believe that India will probably be the epicenter for AIDS in Asia.   Estimates about the number of HIV infected persons in India are many: ranging from 40,000 (in a WHO publication) to 0.5 million (accepted by the international Development Agency and many aid  organizations) to 2.5 million (attributed to T. Jacob John of the Christian Medical College, Vellore, the first doctor to report of the presence of HIV in India).   The estimate of the number of full blown AIDS case was about 115 in March 1992,   but it is commonly agreed that the official numbers of HIV infected are grossly under-reported because of our inadequate medical infrastructure.

                       These figures have caused serious concern, and a massive amount of money is pouring in for AIDS-related work.   Estimates keep changing, with the official government amount just for the state of Maharashtra, where the most AIDS cases have been detected, often being quoted as over Rs. 300 crores.   This does not include the aid given by private agencies to NGOs. 

                        In this article I shall argue that much of the AIDS-related educational work currently being undertaken in India is irrelevant because there has been no attempt to understand and put sexuality into the Indian context.   Prostitution, generally considered to be the hot-bed of infection, had been targeted for a massive onslaught.   But since prostitution are the wrong audience, the messages fail to make the desired impact.   Moreover, the messages themselves are culturally irrelevant since Indian understanding of the causes of disease and health differ.   I shall therefore attempt to put sexuality in a socio-historical context by examining the conditions under which the homosexual community developed in the US.   The socio-economic scenario in India and the implications for sexuality will then be discussed.      

                        It is widely believed that AIDS is caused by the HIV virus.   Recently, however, a controversy has developed about this, with several top medical researchers, including Lus Montagnier who discovered HIV in 1983, and Peter Duesberg who first mapped the genetic structure of such viruses, believing that AIDS is not caused exclusively by HIV.   They argue that the virus does not kill the cells of the immune system, but that the disease occurs when the immune system gets mis-programmed and begins to commit suicide in the presence of certain co-factors.   Duesberg also maintains that AIDS is not infections and is the result of other factors that damage the immune system including ‘recreational drugs such as cocaine.’

                      The reason for mentioning this detail is that all current educational intervention programmes are based on the fact that my causes AIDS.   And HIV is transmitted through body fluids, one avenue being the exchange of sexual fluids.   It is therefore important to keep in mind the ongoing controversy about the HIV_AIDS connection.   There is, after all, a large, world-wide AIDS bureaucracy and a multi-million dollar industry which exists on the belief that HIV and AIDS are connected.   Any research that could topple this belief might therefore be prevented from reaching the public.  

                       From the Indian point of view, this new development is extremely interesting.    Western medical understanding of the causes of disease has been based on the germ theory.   Eastern and more holistic methods of understanding health have stressed that it is the basic balance and health of the body which determines whether a person succumbs to a disease.   The new developments fit a holistic system far better.   However, since this article concentrates on AIDS and sexuality, we will assume for now, that HIV causes AIDS, and that HIV is passed through an exchange of body fluids.   Blood is one.    But another, which is more relevant here, is sexual fluids.   Chances of infection increase with multiple sex contacts, which occurs through affairs (unpaid sex), paid sex and homosexuality.   

                          It has finally been accepted that there are no ‘natural’ sexualities; and that sexual behavior is socially constructed; that the rates and forms of sexual expression vary across time and space, and that they differ for different classes and social groups.   In each society and sub-culture, the social meanings of sex differ, as does its place in the life of men and women.   In order to concretize this social construction of sexuality, we will examine the conditions under which the ‘homosexual community’ developed in the US.

                          AIDS literature often talks about two different patterns of transmission-that of the West, where it starts in the homosexual community, and then filters into the heterosexual.   The other is the African (also applicable to India), which is primarily heterosexual.    However, rather than viewing them as two differing modes of transmission, it is possible to see them as being related to the differing historical and social conditions.    In the West, societal changes were such that there emerged a sub-group and culture which could clearly be perceived to identify Aids with a particular social group and thus be seen as the Gay Plague.   Such conditions did not occur elsewhere.  This is not to say that homosexual activity in Asia and Africa did not exist, but that the social context and expression of such behavior are different in these societies.

                         

                           

                              It was in the middle decades of the 20^th century that a gay subculture took root in American cities.  The war year pulled millions of American men and women from their families and small towns and deposited them in a variety of sex segregated, non-familial institu-                tion.   For men, it was the armed forces; for women it meant migrating to the cities and often lodging and working in virtually all-female environments.  For a generation of young Americans, the war created a setting in which to experience same-sex love, affection and sexuality.  At the same time, the pill and birth control movement was breaking the connection of sex with reproduction.   A new philosophy was emerging: sex was for pleasure.

                           The standard of living was also rising, together with the number and reach of consumer products.   This allowed individuals to actually live a life dedicated to only pleasure.    With growing consumerism, the advertising industry increasingly started to indulge in a not very subtle use of the erotic and sensual to sell their products.   The entire society became sensualized, as it were, with lips, breasts, cleavages, and skin spilling out of every paper, magazine and TV programme.

                           The changes set in motio0n by the war continued after demobilization.   As male homosexuals and lesbians came to associate more freely, they created institutions to bolster their sense of identity.   The sub-culture that evolved took a different shape for men and women.   With a long historical tradition of greater access to public space as well as gender socialization that encouraged sexual expression, gay men could meet more openly in bars, parks, bath houses.   Boston, for example, had about 24 bars for gay men, as against one which served only women.

                          The expanding possibilities for gay men and lesbians to meet did not pass without a response.   The post-war years bred fear about the ability of American institutions to withstand subversion from real and imagined enemies.   Politician first latched on to the issue of homosexuality in February 1950, the same month that Senator Joseph McCarthy initially charged that the Department of State was riddled with communists.  A Congressional hearing was told that thousands of sexual deviants worked for government.   In June 1950, a formal enquiry was commissioned.  The ensuing reports charged that homosexuals lacked emotional stability, and that they have a corrosive influence on other employees.   The cold war against communism made the problem of homosexuality even more threatening, with the charged that homosexuals could easily become spics because their deviance made them prime targets for blackmail.

                          There was a remarkable increase in the annual number of dismissals from government service, the number of discharges doubling with each passing year.   One study in the mid-1950s estimated that over 12.6 million workers, i.e. more than 20% of the workforce, faced loyalty/security investigations as a condition of employment.   This labeling encouraged local police force to harass homosexuals by openly attacking them in parks, clubs and bath houses.   New York, New Orleans.   Miami, San Francisco, Baltimore and Dallas---all experienced police-raids on bars and a large number of arrests.

                         On 27 June 1969, a group of police officers raided Stonewall Inn, a bar in the heart of Greenwich Village.   The act became cause for a riot.   Thus began the ‘Gay Power’ movement, a social movement giving political visibility to the gay community.   In time they were able to slip away some of the institutional structures, public policies and cultural attitudes that sustained a system of oppression.   In the 1970s, half the states eliminated the sodomy statute from the penal code.   In 1974, homosexuality was removed from the list of mental disorders.   Several cities incorporated sexual preference in their municipal civil rights law.  In Congress, the movement found sponsors for a federal civil rights law.   Thus, through homosexuals have always existed in the US. For the first time they acquired political and social visibility as a rather powerful group.

                        Since AIDS is also a sexually transmitted disease, the chances of it being communicated in the homosexual community are as high as anywhere else.   Easier in fact, since in the West it has been established that while male to female transmission occurs easily, female to male is rare, except if the male has genital lesions so that absorption of female sexual fluids is possible.   Given the higher access of males to the medical system, and given the fact that it was possible to identify the sub-group; AIDS was initially associated with gay men’s sex.

                       This history was quite unique to America and perhaps to other countries of Western Europe.   It did not occur in India.   However, a look at the trends in India indicates that there are changes taking place which point to growing sexual promiscuity, and hence a growing susceptibility to all STDs, including AIDS.   Nevertheless, it is difficult to talk about sex in India, given the vat varieties of groups that the country encompasses.   We still have groups practicing polygamy and polyandry.   There are still areas where matrilineal systems exist, and areas where adolescent girls and boys live together in hostels as part of their growing up process.   There has been so little work done on sexuality that to draw a real picture of Indian sexuality, taking into account the many regional and sub-group differences, is difficult.   However, we can discuss how the changing socio-economic conditions are related to sexuality and hence make some predictions regarding possible trends.

                           The past few decades have seen a phenomenal growth in urbanization, the total urban population according to the 1991 Census reportedly being 217 million residing in 291 cities and towns all over India,   23 of which are million-plus cities.   Urbanization has always been accompanied with a break-up of close extended family ties and with the growth of individualism in society.   The nature of industrialization was also such that to a large extent, cities have had an excess of males.  In 1931, for example, Bombay had 554 females for 1,000 men.   This was because in the early stages of industrialization, it was common for men to migrate alone to the cities to work in factories, leaving the women and children behind in the rural areas to tend the small plot of land.   This meant that the cities had a large number of single men without their families.  

                           The most common living arrangement for those employed in the textile industry were all-male boarding houses.   These provided a new opportunity for the expression of male-

male sex, and for the growth in the number of prostitutes.   Earlier, paid sex was usually associated with the other exclusively male setting, the armed forces.   Now, millions of workers were potential customers.   Prostitution in industrializing cities expanded.   In Bombay, tens of thousands of prostitutes could be found in the infamous cages of Kamatipura.

                          Besides this internal Indian migration, there has been a phenomenal growth in the export of labour from India.   Lakhs have migrated to the Gulf and returned with different experiences and rising aspirations, matched with a surplus income which they could not have imagined, let alone seen before.   The number of women in the working force has also been showing an upswing, with a declining proportion of women working in household industry.   In urban areas, the share of non-house-hold industry increased from 12.9% to 14.3%.   more and more women were leaving their homes for work, thus acquiring greater independence in their lives.

                         In addition, the tradition of the extended joint family has broken down, giving rise to a mushrooming of nuclear families.   The pressures of industrialization and the erosion of traditional modes of living have also led to an increase in single women and it is estimated that at least 20% of Indian households are headed by women.   This again means that there are a large number of women who live independent lives, with little male supervision.

                       Indian women have never had to fight for birth control.   It has been literally thrust upon us from every nook and corner.   The government advertizes condoms, abortions, sterilizations, pills.   Even though there is resistance to the forced nature of the family planning programmes, the overall effect is the awareness that it is now possible to separate sex from reproduction.   One reason why women prefer to get sterilized themselves is that if the men do so, and the women become pregnant, it could lead to problems.   This gives us some idea of what is actually happening.

                        All this has been taking place at a time when there has been a rise in the living standards of a large section of the people.   With the help of unions, industrial workers, once part of the oppressed poor, now earn comparatively more, so that they have risen to join the ranks of the middle class.   The level of income earned by the middle class has also been rising, as have the numbers of the nouveau riche.   With this have come a growing number of consumer durables being manufactured by a large number of competing industrial groups:  fridges.   TVs, music systems, mixers, air conditioners, ovens, microwaves, convenience foods, vacuum cleaners, washing machines, motor cycles, mopeds, cars.   Once the exclusive preserve of the rich, these are now middle class household gadgets.

                         And all these durables are accompanied by advertising.   Erotic images, as in the West, have become an everyday affair.   Be it the Kamasurtra as for condoms or MRF tyres, showing the male body almost to perfection, or be it the sensuousness of Garden Vareili or the soft lips of Lakme,  pretty girls are used to sell just about anything, from tractors to computers.  

All these factors point to a situation where freer social relationships outside of immediate family, village or caste control.   With the increasing independence of women, one would expect a larger number of affairs contracted, not on the basis if force or money, but for mutual satisfaction.   Prostitution would possibly grow in new areas, and specially in large towns where the first generation of villagers are leaving the confines of tradition.   We could also expect a more open form of homosexuality.

                        There are some indications affirming the growth of a more open from of sexuality.    The number of cases coming to the government STD clinics, which only records the tip of the iceberg, is increasing: from 479,000 in 1978-79 to 919,000 0n 1984-85.   The number of abortions done in government clinics has also risen from 317, in 1978-79 to 573.000 in 1984-85.    Last year, Bombay Dost, the first magazine devoted exclusively to those practicing an alternative sexuality, was launched.

                               Studies on sexual behavior patterns would give us an idea of these changing trends.    Unfortunately, in India, there has been no study of actual behavior patterns, o what people actually do, as opposed to what people think people should be doing.   It has long been assumed that virginity and monogamy were the general rule.   Deviant forms, like hijras, existed, but they were on the fringes---little noticed, of little concern.          

                            Recently, however, a magazine conducted a small survey on the actual behavior patterns of urban, educated men.   The sample consisted of 1500 men, and the results    broke several myths about the nature of Indian sexual behavior.  Over four-fifths of the men had had sexual intercourse, 41% of them before they had reached the age of 20.   Only 22% had their first sexual experience with their wives; 29% had it with a friend, 21% with a paid person.   13% had their first experience with a relative, while for 10%, it was with a person of the same sex.    

                           Among married men, 55% claimed to have had extra-marital affairs with a non-paid person of the opposite sex.   255 of these affairs took place with relatives, 18% occurred in the work place and 53% with friends.   Thirty-seven per cent (414 men) claimed to have had homosexual experience.    It was usually at a young age, 80% having had it before they were 20.   220 of these men were married, and a third of them said their wives knew about their homosexual activities.   A fifth of the men said they had had over 10 persons.   The main reasons given by respondents (30%) who claimed to have gone in for paid sex were because they felt like it, and because they were on tour.   Of them, 43% had been to 1 to 5 women,  23% to over 10.    Only 19% of this highly educated group used a condom on such occasions.   Anal intercourse, considered by many to be the act of homosexuals, it not so.    Among the married men, 20% said that they had had anal intercourse with their wives. 

                         This is a small sample, based on a self-administered questionnaire published in an English magazine.   It points to the urgent necessity of carrying out more extended research on sexual behavior patterns.   However, this small survey indicates that there is much sexual activity going on outside marriage, which is not confined to prostitutes or paid sex.       

                           The current emphasis of AIDS education work has been on the prostititutes, with free and subsidized condoms being distributed and their being ‘motivated’ to educate their customers to use them.  Here, it is crucial to understand the basis on which the exchange between prostitute and client occurs, and to what extent she is capable of negotiating the terms of that exchange.  This determines whether she has any bargaining power over the usage of the condom.   In India, supply far outstrips demand, and in, any cases women are totally dependent on only sexual exchange to make their livelihood.   In such a situation, it is unlikely that she would insist on condom usage.                          

                         Increased bargaining power is a precondition for the prostitute to be able to negotiate the terms of her contract.   In the absence of this, all propaganda, like free condoms, get thrown in the garbage.  Not eating today is far more real than the possibility of getting a disease from an act which she has been performing for years, without too serious a problem.   For an AIDS intervention to make sense, it needs to be linked with empowerment, which can only occur if other means of making an income exist.   AIDS education for prostitutes has to be linked with income generation.

                         But prostitutes, as a distinct group, are not the only ones concerned with sex.   As the survey indicates, a relatively high number of affairs are with relatives and with co-workers.   In the absence of data, it is difficult to conclude that these are totally voluntary.    Since there is an unequal social relation, it is possible that women in such a situation have little control over the conditions of sexual exchange.   The focus on usage of condoms with prostitutes denies the need for clients to use condoms in their other sexual encounters.

     

                       As the above statistics show, the extent and nature of sexual contacts is far wider and the range encompassed similar to the other social contacts a person is likely to have.   Hence, the emphasis on educating prostitutes about AIDS creates the illusion that it is a disease which is primarily transmitted by this group. 

                       Little o9f the educational work addresses itself to homosexuals.  This is because at some level there is denial that homosexuality exists here, particularly since its social expression differs from that in the West.   In India, homosexuality is not perceived as providing an exclusive social identity.   However, the survey, mentioned earlier does indicate the prevalence of such behavior, although most men do not engage exclusively in male-male sex.   Hence the social matrix of the possibilities of AIDS transmission in India differs substantially from the West.   And it is evident that if the current focus on prostitutes continues, it will fail to contain the infection.       

                         There have been some attempts to educate the public through ads and TV.   The lesson most often given is that AIDS is a killer disease.   The picture of a skull with AIDS written over it has become commonplace.   It carries the message that sex could equal death, a message which would probably jibe well with the West, given it Christian sub-culture that sex equals sun.   However, the usual understanding is that the Indian conception of sex is quite different.   Our myths talk creation as a joyous act of intercourse: our gods are always male and female together; control of sexual energy can be a means of spiritual enlightenment in Tantra:  the erotic sculptures, or what remains of them after all the invasions and breaking of temples, are one indication.     

                           In the West, there has been a growing separation of sex from other kinds of relationships.   The advice contained in sex manuals seems to be directed towards machines, to be touched here, tickled there.  Compare it to the Kamasutra, which laid down complicated ethics of behavior and gave hints on how to approach others’ wives and courtesans.   Romancing, and the art of seduction, of pleasing the other, is what is important.   Sensuousness.   Not this obsessional preoccupation with the orgasm.   It is a more total experience, entwined into the texture of life, with smell, taste and feeling.

                           The current educational campaigns on AIDS treat sex in the abstract manner of the West.  ‘If you go with another woman…..you could get AIDS.’   The ads for Kamasutra condoms show a much better understanding of the Indian feeling for sexuality, including it as part of the skill in making love.   The view of sex as dehumanized and impersonal, as something which could cause death is currently being supported by a multi-dollar campaign funded primarily by the West.   Local NGOs working on AIDS have been drawing attention to the West’s ideological control of the way we approach our problems.   For example, already the World Bank has stipulated that the AIDS project must be run by a independent body, outside government control and with free access to WHO, which will monitor and evaluate  the project.

                            Local NGOs also allege that the national AIDS project is being hijacked by foreigners and India could soon become a playground for foreign AIDS researchers, just as Africa was in the 1980s.   This is a real possibility, given the fact that the international AIDS programme has reached the stage where they want to test possible cures.

                            The current AIDS campaign is based on an understanding of sex, individuals and society which has essentially come from the West.   Sex is referred to entirely in the abstract, as an act which exists apart from the individuals concerned: a medico-technological impersonal act, to which we have to apply our scientific, men as object, gaze.   The purpose of this article has been to indicate that sexuality is a social construct, and that its construction in India differs from that of the West.   Our current educational campaigns are based on a lack of information, or information that we are incorrectly transposing from the West.   And this has serious implications.   Finally, it is only with an open recognition of the need to understand sexuality and disease within our own culture that any adequate and effective educational campaign can be developed.

August 1992

 

                                                                                      

The first Sex survey of Indian women...the savvy study

                                                 THE SEX LIFE 0F INDIAN WOMEN

                 

                    Many have asked, why this survey?

                   The main reason was to find out what Indian women actually do and feel.   Many myths abound - “Indian women are…..”   “You are abnormal,”  “you should feel….” And based on these, they often carry a fear, or guilt complex wondering if they alone are masturbating, wanting more or less sex, have been molested or have a woman lover.  A survey of this kind helps break the silence, in what we know is a snowballing effect.   By actually knowing what is going on, our negative feelings are removed, and positive feeling are reinforced.   Also as social scientists, we study all phenomena in society to ascertain if there is a changing trend.   Is sexual activity occurring at a younger age?   Is there a trend towards a monogamous or a multipartnered relationship?   It is only surveys such as these which can give us statistical data on trends.   It is also helps us understand whom we need to address sex-education to.   Many parents wait till their daughters are in wedding finery - should we be talking to them earlier?   With this survey, we have learnt a lot and are sure that you will too!

                  We received around 50 responses to our survey, and even at the time of writing they are still coming in.   We hadn’t quite known what to expect, considering that this was the first time women have been asked to talk about their sexuality.   The opening up of this hidden arena in women’s lives was sure to be accompanied by various emotions joy, fear, hesitation.   We heard of many cases where groups of women got together and for the first time and discussed some of the questionnaire.   In some cases, husbands and wives began to talk to each other about their feelings and their past.   Many women wrote.   “Thank you SAVVY for being daring enough to talk openly about something which is so crucial and central in our lives, and which is kept so hidden.”   Many attached long additions sharing with us their fears, frustrations and joys.

                   These women, who have replied, must be thanked.   By opening and sharing their lives with us, they have broken the silence which exists on this topic.

                   And these women are not an average sample of the population but a special group of women – our readers.   Also, we don’t know whether all readers have similar experiences.   Research has show that those who volunteer to respond have an above average interest in the topic.

                  Many women wrote in asking questions and clarifications about a variety of topics – from masturbation and frigidity to lack of pleasure.   Maybe, we’ll deal with these questions in future issues of SAVVY.

                

                  But for now the results.

                                               SEX HABITS:  Sex is pleasurable

                                       

  I HAVE SEX EVEN IF                    Often           Rarely          Never                                                                                                                            I DON’T FEEL LIKE.                         29%            46%              23% 

  I INITIATE LOVE –                         48%            45%                5%                                                                                                       MAKING.        

  I FEEL LIKE                                     22%            32%              39%                                                                                        HAVING AN AFFAIR.

  SEX FOR ME IS                               74%            19%               3%                                                                                         PLEASURABLE.

  I HAVE AN ORGASM.                    49%            31%              14%

   

                                                                   INDIAN WOMEN

RADIANT RESPONSE

                    Our respondent aged from 20 to 44 years, mainly in the age group 25-34.   They were highly educated – 95% being college graduates.   Half had attended co-ed schools, the other half schools for girls only.   90% had been to English medium schools.   All the religious groups were represented, the majority being Hindus 72%, Christians 10%, Muslims 5%, others 13%.

                    Replies came from almost all the states   -  Haryana,  Himachal,  J & K,  Punjab,  Rajasthan,  UP,  Bihar,  Assam,  Meghalaya,  Nagaland,  Bengal,  Gujarat,  Maharashtra,  Madhya Pradesh,  Andhra Pradesh,  Karnataka,  Kerala,  Tamil Nadu.   The most, 37% were from Bombay.  

There were responses from not only the metros but also from places as far and wide as Coimbatore,  Kochi,  Hospet,  Bhopal,  Raipur,  Nagpur,  Kharagpur  Lucknow,  Ghaziabad,  Jodhpur,  Kota,  Ludhiana, and Amritsar.

                   78% of the women were married 6% divorced/separated.   Of those married most had one or two children.  Half of them lived in nuclear families and 25% in joint families.   Half of them had arranged marriages and 25% had love and arranged-cum-love-the latter a typical Indian situation.   Approximately half were working – either employed, or in their own business or assisting in family business, 9% were still students.

                  Of those working, 36% made under Rs. 2,500 a month, 36% between Rs. 2,500 – 5,000, and 28% over Rs. 5,000.   The rest did not reveal their personal incomes.   Family incomes wee high with 20% below Rs. 5,000 and 59% over Rs. 6, 000 a month.

                                           Knowledge of Sex: Amazing Awareness                                                                         

                  How do we find out about sex?   At what age?   Is what we learn sufficient?   About 59% knew about sexual intercourse before they were 15 years of age.   By the time they were 20 years, 90% were aware of it.

                  41% learnt about sex through books, 31% through friends, but school played a very minor role.

                  Among the older women (between years 35-44) ‘friends’ were a major source of information, while younger women learnt from ‘books’.

               

                 The lack of sexual education, its consequences and the need for more open discussion was stressed repeatedly.

                 One reader wrote in and said,   “sex creates a feeling of fear and guilt in the minds of girls like me because no one ever talks about it.   I have always blamed my mother for not revealing the bare facts of sex and related activities.   I had to find them out from books and others.   Because of inhibitions even friends did not want to discuss it.   Being very curious I had sex with an older man to find out what it was all about.”

                                               Early experience:  Raring to Romance

                   Is there romance in Indian women’s lives?   It appears so.   61% mentioned having had boyfriends.   This is not restricted to the younger generation.   But it’s a college phenomenon – half were below 20 when they first had a boy friend.

            

                Is it innocent romance?   23% said they did nothing, 41% had kissed, 37% cuddled and touched, 13% stimulated the genitals and 7% had sex, 81% of our sample had intercourse.   Of those that had not, most wanted to remain virgins, or had not yet met the right guy.

                 The first sexual intercourse was initiated by the women themselves in 18% of the cases.  28% said their first experience had been a little forced.

                 One misconception is:   blood on the sheets on the first night.   Only half the women in our survey bled during their first sexual intercourse.   To clarify one woman’s query, the hymen can stretch and break during normal activity, and the lack of one does NOT mean that you are not a virgin.   The experience was a mixed one  -  of fear, pain and also pleasure as the table indicates.  60% felt some fear, 78% pain.  However despite this, 67% derived some pleasure in their first act.   Things seem to be changing however, with the younger women more positively disposed and better prepared.   Only 6% of the older women felt no fear during their first sexual intercourse, compared to 27% in the age group 20-24.

                                            Sex within Marriages:   Action filled

                 One out of five married women has had sex with her husband before marriage.   Again this is not a new phenomenon; the number is constant in all age groups.   The Hindi film cliché of the terrors of the wedding night doesn’t seem to be true either.   Of the women who had not slept with their fiancés, only 32% had sex on the day of their wedding, 14% on the day after the wedding and 32% within a week of their wedding.

                  Sex life on the average is active. 64% of the married women had sex almost every day, during the first year of marriage.  16% say they currently do it every day.   Almost half have sex a couple of times a week.   However 32% wished that their sexual activity was more, in quality and frequency.   What makes for a good marriage?   Over 80% felt that caring and affection were important, 60% said food sex.

                

                     68% are almost always nude while having sex.   Only 2% are never completely nude.   94% take their clothes off sometime or the other while making love.   The pattern is almost identical among their husbands.   It is perhaps a rare occasion that one of the partners is naked and the other is not during sexual intercourse.

                                 

                                       

                                        OPINION ON SEXUAL DESIRE:

                                                          

                                                             Decreased       Increased      Remained the same

I FEEL WITH AGE

SEXUAL NEEDS HAVE….                  25%              50%                   24%

                                                                                                                                                AFTER A CHILD MY

SEXUAL DESIRE HAS…..                   18%              27%                  29%

                                
  

                       

                       Wham bang and thank you ma’am is NOT the pattern.

                       47% said love-making lasts for less than 30 minutes.    Love –making last beyond 30 minutes in a little over 50% in the age group of 20-29 years and 35-44 years.   The duration of intercourse is at its lowest during the early 30s and picks up in the later years.  

                       One in five married women has had sex with a man other than her husband, the majority with one or two men – through a few have mentioned upto 20.   Most often these were with friends-57%, 22% with relatives, and 11% with work acquaintances.   

                     Wives are trusting of their husbands – three quarters were positive that their husband had not had sex after marriage with anyone other than themselves.

                     In over 90% of the cases the couples use the missionary man above position.  30% have the woman positioned above.   Making love sideways was mentioned by 11%.  Various others were from behind, one wrote many ‘Kamasutra positions.   There is a distinct trend in the intercourse method, as age progresses couples break away from the most common position.   i.e. missionary, and start experimenting with other positions.   The incidence of woman on top and sideways is greater among older women.    

                     Sexual postures preferred by women follows the currently used positions; with fewer women preferring the man-on-top variety.   The question on oral sex was unclear, on distinction was made about who does what to whom.   However 86% said they have experienced oral sex, and 47% enjoyed it.

                      To those women who have asked   “is my need to have more sex normal?   Am I over-sexed if I desire more?   I desire it two three times a week, he twice a month.”   No, you are not abnormal – one in three women who answered our survey wished their sexual activity was more in quality and frequency.  48% felt it was satisfactory.

                      With the differing sex needs, it was often women who took the initiative.   However, some because of their conditioning did so with guilt.

                      A 44-year-old woman asked, “it is always me who has to ask for it and that gives me a feeling of “wanton” or “undesired.”  I sometimes get a complex now.   Many times I have decided I will not go to him but I’ve suffered for I crave for it and he doesn’t come.  Is it unlady like to make the first move always?   Am I sexcrazy?”

                                          Woman to Woman:  Revealing passions

                     The romantic feelings women have towards other women, is a phenomenon little known, little talked about.   And even if talked about it is often viewed as perverted, as the following experience shows.   One woman said,   “When my friend’s family members discovered she was gay she was told to leave home forever.   So if we disclose our feelings, we earn nothing but disgrace and disapproval from those who learn about our problems or know what we are exactly.   Therefore we keep it to ourselves to avoid the disgrace, the label.   We have to do things very secretively and if we encounter any problems we solve it ourselves.   This has happened to many of my friends and to me as well.   “However it is not uncommon.   About 14% in this study have had a romantic relationship with another woman.   It occurred usually at a young age with 50% having a relationship before they were 16 years.

                    For most it was experimental:  a majority had a romantic relationship with just one woman.   One in four had romantic relationships with more than two women.  26% currently have a female lover. 

                                                   Masturbation: Myth exploded

                     Contrary to popular belief, 61% of the women have masturbated, with the incidence rising with increase in age. 

                 Of the 61% who had masturbated at some time or the other, 56% continue to masturbate currently.   Many wrote “my husband never satisfies me so I masturbate afterwards.”

                                             

                                       OPINION ON SEXUAL BEHAVIOUR

                                  

                                                                                                    

SLEEP WITH SOMEONE                              Agree                               Disagree                                  

WITH NO PLAN TO MARRY.                        47%                                  52%

SLEEP WITH SOPMEONE                              48%                                  50%

PLANNING TO MARRY.                               

SLEEP WITH SOMEONE                                28%                                  71%

JUST FOR PLEASURE.                                     

ALRIGHT TO HAVE AN                                28%                                  72%                  

EXTRA MARITAL AFFAIR.

HUGGING & CUDDLING                              72%                                  24%

MORE IMPORTANT THAN SEX.

IT IS MORE IMPORTANT TO                        50%                                  49%

 BE A VIRGIN AT MARRIAGE.                                                                                         

                                                     Molestation: Surprising incidence

                        Women are capable of being used, often without knowing what is going on.   “I was forcibly kissed by my maternal uncle at the tender age of 9.   He later fondled my private parts under the cover of a quilt in presence of my parents who were watching TV.   I was too shocked to retaliate but years later after reading magazine articles, when I could bring myself to tell my mother, she did not take things seriously and even said it was too late and that I must be mistaken.”   The experience can leave scars because since no one talks about it, a girl can feel that it has only happened to her and that she is to blame.   However, the experience is common and one in five women in our study admits to being molested it happened often when they were young.   About half were molested before they were 15 years, with an age range of 2 – 26.  Half did not tell anyone about their experience least of all parents – only 65 told their parents.

                                              Abortion:  Youthful Phenomenon

                      MTP seems to be well accepted by women.  50% have had an abortion at least once.   The incident of abortion is the highest in the age group of 20-25 years, with 52% of the women having undergone their first abortion during this age.

                      Almost all the women had an abortion before they were 35 years.   The incidence of abortion before the women were 20 years is about 12%.

                      Of the women who went through an abortion 25% were unmarried.   The incidence of unmarried women abortion foetus is more prevalent.   This indicates a surprisingly high level of unawareness about contraceptives.   A lady doctor shared her experience.  “I am a doctor and am doing my RMO in Gynecology.  At the hospital I have seen so many educated women coming to do abortions and sometimes we abort a living baby.   Even well educated women do not take precautions when they indulge in premarital sex, which leads to terrible consequences.”

                                                                   TYPES

                    The Indian woman’s sex life is complex, and the averages above hide the wide range of experiences that women have.

                    There are those who want to remain virgins before they are married, those who believe that experimentation is necessary to know your partner.   There are those who after marriage are most satisfied with their husbands.   Others are not, but would not d anything about it.   Still others find lovers to make their lives tolerable.   And we also have swinging couples.   The following excerpts from letters we have received along with the filled in questionnaire gives an idea about the range of experiences.

                                      

                                                “I wanted to have his baby”

                      I was 19 when I met HIM.   I had intercourse with him after 4 months.  I had thought earlier that my virginity would be a gift to my husband.  I never regretted anything – once I was in it and couldn’t stop because the fulfillment, the completeness, the warmth, the love, the bond that love –making gave was beyond anything.

                     “Only sometimes would he say that he could marry me.   This is because we followed different religions.   We broke up because of the fights.”

                      “One day my friend told me he was getting married and I cried.   I met him again, and our relationship recommenced on a more mature footing. We never used contraceptives….and I became pregnant.   I was overjoyed and wanted to have his baby.   But he was still in college, and so I had an abortion.”

                       “We still have our fights about marriage.   He feels I can marry someone else.  But I say no – I can belong to one man only.”

                                                 “For years I tolerated everything”

                        “I had an arranged marriage with am man a year older than myself and realized he was abusive, violent and suspicious.   He did not respect me in front of family and friends.   For years I tolerated everything – hi violent behavior, his abusive tongue, the daily sex.   I thought his behavior may change if had another child.   We already had two.   However, in the third month of pregnancy I realized that nothing was changing.   So I had an abortion.   It was a depressing experience and I lost all confidence in myself.

                        “I got a job, and slowly started regaining my confidence.   By chance I met someone and we started having an affair – sex was always in haste and in most awkward and ridiculous positions.   But the affair gave much to my marriage.   Now I can bear my husband’s scolding’s, and insults with a smile on my face.   Whenever his behavior is insulting I have sex with the other fellow and relieve myself from all the anger and humiliation.”

                                                        “The key lies in love”

                        “To begin with I just couldn’t have an orgasm though I enjoyed love-making.   My husband and I were madly in love with each other so I was able to convey my frustrations to him.   With oral sex and a long foreplay I was able to have fabulous orgasms again.   The key lies in love, understanding and good communication of each other’s needs.”

                                              “…..and I met a wonderful lover”

                          A 36-year-old keralite living in Bombay – “I did not know what sexual pleasure was till I met this BEST but driver from UP, he was married and a wonderful lover.  He lived in a slum, me in a beautiful 4-room house.   When we walked together hand in hand we were oblivious of other people’s stares.   The affair broke up when his wife bore him a baby, the facts which were totally concealed from me.   He had told me he was separated from her.   In May ’87 I conceived.   He abhorred daughters and forced me into an abortion after the sex determination test.   In anger I got myself sterilized.

                        “My husband is religious minded and a social person and offers no companionship to me whatsoever.   Even his sexual libido is on the wane and sometimes we have sex only once or twice a month.   I satisfy myself with masturbating but am still looking out for a sexual partner.”

                                    “Lots are drawn as to who does what to whom….”

                       “I have enjoyed oral, dual and vaginal sex and perform periodically. I have adopted all sexual postures.   I mostly initiate love-making.   My husband and I regularly watch blue movies.   I have 4 other couple friends and we get together in our farm house once a month where we swim, play cards, listen to erotic music, view blue films, drink whisky heavily.   At night, under the psychedelic lights, lots are drawn as to who does what to whom and we have group sex.   Once in 2 months, our group exchanges their spouses for a weekend (night) which is also thrilling and enjoyable.”

                                         “We would like another like-minded couple”

                        “My husband and I have threesomes with another girl of my liking.  We fantasise during sex because he likes it.   I too have developed a liking for it, during intercourse.   We would like another like-minded couple to join us but there is no chance of knowing any.”

                                                “Sex was rewarded with……”

                         “I had daily sex with the chief executive of a multinational company to entertain him, to use our company for some business.   My liberal attitude towards sex was rewarded with a good 30 lakh contract annually.”

                          Each woman has to understand her own sexuality, her own nature.   Often we have been dumped with a man’s view, a man’s perspective on sexuality – women’s view, needs and experience are crucial to develop a balanced view and this survey is just the first step in breaking silence.   Women vary.   Their sexual needs vary.   Their desires vary.   The same amount of sexual activity may be too much for one woman and too little for another.   One thing the survey definitely teaches us, that there are no stereotypes.

                     

                     There is no one picture. So, no one can tell us   “Indian women are not like this.”

                                               

                                                 Sex and the Single girl

                                    . 72% have had boy friends                     

                             . 67% have experienced sexual intercourse

                                       . 4% have been paid for sex

                                 .6% currently have a woman lover

                                        .79% currently masturbates

                                       . 33% have had an abortion