and there were positive things happening ... only problem was that papers hardly reported them... I stopped writing on womens issues when for the first time 2 articles i wrote about positive developments were not published.... the victim image was fine....
Jailed - for demanding dowry
FINALLY someone had the guts to do it. Daulat, a Customs Officer in Bombay, proposed to Alka. The father agreed. Months later. Daulat demanded Rs.30, 000 and a transfer of certain land onto his name: otherwise, he said, he would not marry. The threat, he probably thought would suffice.
But Bansi, an Income-tax Officer, was made of stuff. Since he had the demand for money in writing, he went to court. This was in 1977. In December 1980, a historic judgment was passed. Daulat was found guilty, fined Rs.1, 000/- and jailed for a day. A light sentence, no doubt, too light to act as a deterrent-but at least a guilty verdict.
The case is historic, because most of the prosecutions under the Dowry Prohibition Act, 1961, which makes the giving or taking of dowry and even the demand for dowry, an offence, are filed after the murder of the girl. In most of these cases, it is the harassment of the young wives which leads to their death. In the initial stages, the parents of the girl try to appease the monsters:”we gave her this and that, and still they were not satisfied”.
But in this case, the father simple refused to give dowry. He therefore, questioned the entire principle of dowry in our society. Moreover, instead of letting him go and looking for another husband for his daughter, he took the man to court. If only more parents followed his example, the practice would surely die.
Everybody says,” we are against the dowry system.” But the sad thing is that very few are willing to take a personal stand and do something. A daughter or sister is getting married. Pleading letters come. Appealing to your heart, the happiness of the girl. She is leaving us, after all! Can you lend Rs 1000? Guilt creeps in one may question the system, but 99 out of 100 will send the money.
It is defaults like these which maintain the system. Laws maybe passed, amended, whatever, but till each one of us is willing to take a personal stand against dowry, even to the point of socially boy cutting our own relatives ‘marriages because’ dowry’ is involved, the practice will continue.
Today “dowry” has taken the name of “gifts”. “I haven’t asked for any dowry “the boy says. “He hasn’t asked for any dowry” the girl maintains. Come wedding day and the parents have spent two years ‘earnings, taken on loan to get clothes, jewellery, beds, utensils, watches(imported, of course) etc. etc. what’s all this you wonder “they are presents from the parent to the girl.” Then you ask the parent’s: “But why, when you can’t afford it?” They answer, “If we don’t give it, none will marry our daughters”. It’s not “dowry”, means its not demand! Social custom has developed sufficiently to make it unnecessary any longer to demand—It is just accepted that it will be given.
Some 200 women died in Delhi in 1978--- all possibly dowry deaths. How many women commit suicide unable to tolerate the constant taunting? And yet, each one of us is in some way and accomplice to this practice.
Only community action can put an end to this evil. In Faridabad district, Haryana, seeing how dowry was ruining the lives of the women, the village elders called a meeting of people from all the villages within which marriages alliances were arranged. At a massive meeting limit to expenses which could be incurred. Since so much of “dowry” giving and taking is competition, this action led to an immediate stopping of dowry.
Women’s groups need to develop this sort of social and individual boycott whenever they know dowry has been asked for or given. Currently, there is an attempt to amend the Dowry Act by making both accepting and demanding of dowry a cognizable offence, thereby, allowing the police to take effective action on their own.
But in order to make the law effective, women and then parents must be willing to go to court. Bansi had the guts-and he did it. Incidentally, the girl got married to another person-and without dowry. And the boy? Ironic, but he is also married. And rumors say that he was given-well let’s not call it dowry-let’s say plenty of “gifts”.
JANUARY 10TH, 1981
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